coloring

from the way i deliver stories through my posts, perhaps you can see that i’m far from being a bright person, nor having an outstanding talents. rather than being great, i can do few things that i enjoy with a nearly good result. at least this is according to my own standard, lol. in this case, the context is me being an editor and create a good things using photoshop.

i know, i am not good at it, i just like the way the colors blend prettily. and how the picture that i picked, compliments the other pictures with a little bit editing here and there. the neat cutting, composure, humorous aftertaste, is done under my own control and assessment. i think i do have a complex of easily being satisfied by a small target, yet rewarding. not very fond of a long term goals though, that is why i am always in trouble when it comes to the commitment.

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efset.org

as much as i thought that i am not that ambitious, in fact, i kinda bit am. now i agree that all of people really do have an eager to win, depends on which situation snaps the most.

few days ago, she told me about a website called efset. it is a site to test your proficiency in english, consists of questions in a form of reading and listening sections. the result will come as a score, of course, the classification into a group and also the explanation behind the group’s classification. this test is provided by a language institution named english first.

there are 2 free test, basically. the easier one is a 15-minutes long test which has a simple questions and there is no passage in a reading section. i got this score when i first done the test.

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burn out

these days, again, i feel easily burn out. it’s not that i stoop to the level of detaching myself completely from my responsibility, it’s that the negative one remains as the highlight for most days. this is, difficult.

to have people by your side who constantly remind you about how worthless you are, sometimes it happens right after you’re having a bad day and when i want to only by yourself. it’s not a pleasant but the ambiance lingers. it sucks to the point, for every negative words they said, i fired back in a form of wishful thinking for them to disappear from the world that i live in.

why do i keep highlighting the negative moments, everyday when i still hope to live? is it because there’s nothing positive that’s worth to be remembered happen? why do i keep thinking that people keep attaching chains toward my hands, legs, mind? how can i believe that there’s a great amount of chains on my body, visible through my dream, as a form of some people who refuse to let me by?

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